You know your sex life has really hit rock bottom if you have sex just once a week, on Sunday morning, and all week you long for Monday.

After years of marriage the couple eventually achieved perfect sexual harmony climaxing at the same time � the first Sunday in the month.

At 20 a man is like the Eiffel Tower at 60 he�s more like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

When you are a young thing you have sex because you have a huge sex drive. When you reach 60 you only do it to convince yourself you�re still able.

My gran is still having sex at 60 � mind you she needs to have a full medical team on standby.

A recent survey showed that 40% of men and 50% of women still have an active sex life at the age of sixty. It makes you wonder - who are the extra 10% of women having sex with?

A recent survey showed that at the age of twenty 90% of men have sex four times a week and that by the time they reach xx they are still capable of telling the same pathetic lie.

At 20 men think about sex every three minutes which by strange coincidence is how long it takes, when they are xx, to have full sexual intercourse.

Cardiac arrest while having sex is an extreme form of contraception � but a very effective one nevertheless.

If you have not joined the Mile high club by the time you�re sixty set your sights a little lower � try for the �Quick grope in the back of a bus club.�